Coping with your newborn, your guide from one mum to the next.

Are you currently expecting a baby, just had a baby even if it’s your 1st or 3rd, having a newborn is hard work in the early weeks so here is some information I have pulled from the web to support and advise you on coping with your newborn.

Coping with physical pains: 

It’s important to understand that your birth may not go as smoothly as you want and you may suffer from some of the following:

  • Stitches (Use a jug of warm water while urinating)
  • infection (Make sure you get antibiotics)
  • Piles (Do not strain, eat plenty of fiber or take some supplements or lactulose to loosen your stools, you can also get Anasol a piles cream to help)
  • After birth pains (In your back or womb)
  • Mastitis (Breastfeeding)
  • Engorgement (When your breasts fill with milk and are particularly sore)
  • Sleep deprivation.
  • C-Section (Do not overdo it because this can lead to having pain in your scar for years to come afterward)
  • Struggling to establish breastfeeding (Its not natural and both you and baby need to learn)
  • Premature baby.
  • Cot death or born sleeping.
  • Baby brain- Forgetfullness (Write everything down, no seriously lists will become your best friend!)

Having a support network: 

Having a good support network is vital for coping with a newborn baby, a newborn baby is extremely challenging as they depend on you for their every need, 24-7. This takes a toll on your health and relationship. So maybe having a close friend or relative over for the first week or 2 could help, especially if you have a c-section or your partner needs to go back to work. You can then work in shifts so you can get some good quality rest, as sleep deprivation can cause some severe issues to your health both mentally and physically. Don’t be surprised in your newborn changing their sleep pattern, this is common. If you can’t have someone to regularly come over, having a friend to talk to in person or online can help you because sometimes having a good chat and cry is all the therapy you need.

Tiredness: 

Evaluate what is important and what is not and if you are able to nap when your baby is sleeping if you are feeling particularly exhausted or can you just put a load in the washer and sit down for an hour and watch some TV to catch some rest. Try not to control your babies sleep, they need much more sleep than adults and they also sleep lighter, which means they can wake easier. Keeping a baby awake will cause them to become very tired and grouchy, they will be much fussier and this will be more stressful. Co-Sleeping could help your baby feel more relaxed especially in the first 3-4 months as this is like the fourth trimester. Rember safety first though, don’t let them under the covers, place them above your duvet with their own blanket on them, with a pillow by the side of them to stop them rolling off the bed, or wriggling down. Also, don’t sleep next to them if you drink or take drugs and get a babysitter. Unplug your phone and rest your eyes as you feed your baby, get a 10-15 minute rest. Eat well and walk, sounds simple but it’s harder to do but it will really improve your life in the long run.

If you are still feeling extremely weak and exhausted weeks after giving birth, check in with your health visitor as you maybe anemic or suffering from post natal depression and they should help get you the right support and treatment into getting better.

Balancing life: 

Firstly, assess what is the most important in your life! Do you need to dust? No, but you do need to do the dishes, the laundry and put the bins out. Can your friend or relative meet you in town on your good days so you can go out for a walk and coffee, or come to yours if you are having a bad day and have your baby for a couple of hours so you can have a nap. If you are really struggling, visit your local home-start and see what they can do to help you. Work on creating a routine, this will help you feel much more focused and in control when you know what you are doing and your baby will become much more settled as they love routines! It could take up to 6 weeks to establish a good routine.

Yep you know what I’m going to say, the eat well, exercise and try and sleep well because really, it does your mind and body good, we need these essential things. Also, don’t try and do too much, you’re not superwoman and try not to compare to the other mothers around you, they are on their own journey so just focus on yours and doing the best you can. Finding other mums will help, so visit your local baby groups and arrange and go to mummy meetups in your baby-friendly places in your town so you can talk, because staying at home all day can become very lonely and exhausting to some and chatting with like-minded mums can help ease any anxieties or questions you may have.

Don’t forget your “me time” even if that is just having a bubble bath or watching your favorite chick flick, because the demands of motherhood are so tough, trying to do it all perfectly will drive you mad! So if you need to go take a minute, ensure your baby is safe (Put them in their cot) and stand outside for 5 minutes to center yourself or call someone. You are not alone, so accept help when it’s offered to you and ask for it- There is absolutely no shame in it whatsoever. You were born to be real, not perfect.

  • Postpone draining events. Look after yourself.
  • Batch cook on your good days and freeze them for your bad days.
  • Keep your nappy bag packed, do it everytime you get back home.
  • Set attainable goals, sometimes getting a shower will be the best you can do.

Your relationship: 

Having a newborn baby is very tiring for a relationship as there is so much demand on bringing up your newborn as best as you can and juggling, work, and life. Tag teaming is really important so that you are both equally doing your bit, however, this does take a toll when you don;t have much time together, so once you have a good routine going you can schedule all important date nights. Don’t put these off or to the side, maintaining your relationship is hard work.

Accept help, it’s okay to struggle and it’s okay to ask, you are not meant to be perfect so if you are struggling with your partner or if he isn’t pulling his weight then have a good sit down and chat with him.

Baby care: 

So creating a parenting plan will help you, doing this you will need some time and resources so spend some time looking up information on the web or at your local library, having an educated knowledge of different parenting methods will hep you understand how you want to raise your baby and also basic care needs such as what to do when your baby has colic or a nappy rash. Be flexible because you may come across obstacles that will push you to your limits or won’t work for you, sometimes it really is down to trial and error. Keeping a baby diary or logging things onto an app on your phone will help you keep track of your medicines or when you have fed your baby or when they have slept, so you can best decide what to do next.

Embrace the chaos! 

Gosh, this is a long one this week, I hope that you find my blog useful so don’t forget to follow and share! 🙂

Love and light, Victoria.

 

 

 

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